If I had to die for someone

If I had to die for someone
Could I die for someone?

Being a hero is something absolutely everyone wants to be. At least as a child. I think that growing older dispels a lot of illusions.

Whenever I read books, I form a sort of mental picture of what is happening, and I think I'm usually in the picture, even if I'm not (mentally) the protagonist. I think when I was a kid, the boundaries between me and the protagonist were not clearly defined. In my head, I was me and the protagonist as well. Now, I can say to myself when I'm reading: no, I would not do that, I wouldn't react like this.

Anyway, getting off the point! The point was that, then, having fantastic adventures and doing the most daring things didn't seem too much. I also didn't care much about wearing seatbelts, bandaids, looking both ways when crossing a road, playing with matches, locking the doors.....all the things mentioned in the song(by Petra, If I had to Die for Someone)

Does growing older make one a coward?! Is it maturity/wisdom to be afraid or is it just becoming a scaredy-cat!
(i wonder...becoming like one of these little ones to enter the kingdom....)

Now I really do wonder whether I would be a hero in a life threatening situation! Maybe I'd just run away and hide! Could I swallow my fear and face torture and pain? Or the shame of having everyone see me shamed! I'm pretty sure I couldn't.
So how could I understand the way you died for me
cause I don't know if I could, even if i think I would
If I had to die for someone
If I had to die for someone else like me.

the shadow rising

finally, finally, finally finished reading it.
it's been so long since i took this long to read a book. what's wrong with me?

anyway, it's done leaving me(of course) with a yearning for more of the same, all decent books tend to do that, to keep authors earning their bread with regularity. the worst thing about college timings(and more importantly, racecar-building-club timings)is that they do tend to keep one away from books! there's so many things to shelve: reading, listening to music, watching movies, going out with friends, even church...the list goes on.
those 72 hours in july next year had better be darn good.

so shadow rising....well the book started off reaaal slow. in fact i dawdled like anything over the first half. it got better as it went on, though, the only flipside being characters like Rand really getting on my nerves at times, with his harem of girls. two at the same time is one thing, and is even understandable, but three?!! at the same time? what a male slut. no word for that of course.... no there is, i checked: a rake! okay, that sounds like the Marquis of Vidal or Lord Damerel, it's strange to apply it to Rand, he's not quite high-class enough!

there was a lot of repetition of stuff too, specially the way they keep contrasting the sexes. i don't think there's literally that much difference. it's not like boys and girls can never understand one another in real life! there's more difference between people from different social classes than between sexes. except that, seriously, i don't understand boys and their disgusting habits at times!

anyway, the ending was good, the Forsaken are finally coming out into the open, in ways not entirely predictable. its good plotting. complex weaving into the Pattern of an imaginary world...:)

random thought: i wonder why books are never written about farmboys who stay farmboys all their lives and who marry farmgirls instead of princesses!

insanity

the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome.
writing sessionals seems pretty insane to me!